What is DARVO?

DARVO is a psychological manipulation tactic first identified by Dr. Jennifer Freyd, a professor of psychology. It describes a pattern where an individual accused of wrongdoing:

1. Denies the allegations outright, refusing to acknowledge any responsibility.

2. Attacks the accuser's credibility, character, or motives.

3. Reverses Victim and Offender, portraying themselves as the true victim and the accuser as the aggressor.

In family law, DARVO often appears in cases involving allegations of domestic violence, emotional abuse, or parental misconduct. For example, a spouse accused of controlling behavior during a divorce might deny the behavior, attack their partner's mental stability, and claim they are the ones being unfairly targeted. This tactic can confuse victims, sway third parties, and complicate legal proceedings.

DARVO in California Family Law

California family courts prioritize the best interests of the parties involved, especially children in custody disputes (California Family Code § 3011). However, DARVO can obscure the truth, making it challenging for judges to discern credible claims. Below are common scenarios where DARVO may arise:

• Domestic Violence Allegations: In restraining order hearings, an alleged abuser might deny the incident, attack the accuser's credibility (e.g., “They're lying to get leverage in the divorce”), and claim victimhood by alleging they were provoked or falsely accused. California courts take domestic violence seriously (Family Code § 6203), but DARVO can muddy the waters, especially without corroborating evidence.

• Child Custody Disputes: A parent accused of neglect or abusive behavior might deny the claims, attack the other parent's parenting skills, and position themselves as the “real” victim, arguing they're being alienated from their child. This can complicate evaluations under California's “best interest” standard, as courts must sift through conflicting narratives.

• Divorce and Property Division: During asset division, one spouse might accuse the other of financial misconduct, only to face a DARVO response where the accused denies wrongdoing, attacks the accuser's financial decisions, and claims they've been unfairly targeted to lose assets. California's community property laws (Family Code § 760) require equitable division, but DARVO can prolong disputes.

Recognizing DARVO in Action

DARVO is insidious because it exploits emotional vulnerabilities and societal biases. For instance, an abuser might leverage stereotypes about “vindictive exes” to discredit their partner. Common red flags include:

• Minimizing or Denying: Refusing to acknowledge documented incidents, such as text messages or police reports.

• Character Attacks: Labeling the accuser as unstable, manipulative, or dishonest without evidence.

• Victimhood Claims: Portraying themselves as unfairly targeted, often exaggerating their own suffering to gain sympathy.

In California family law, where evidence like declarations, witness testimony, and documentation plays a critical role, DARVO can distort perceptions if not addressed. For example, a parent might claim they're being “alienated” from their child to deflect from their own behavior, influencing mediators or evaluators if unchallenged.

Strategies to Counter DARVO

Navigating DARVO requires a strategic approach to maintain credibility and focus on the facts. Here are practical steps for clients and attorneys:

1. Document Everything: Keep detailed records of incidents, including dates, times, and communications (e.g., emails, texts). In California, evidence like text messages or voicemails can be admissible in court if relevant and properly authenticated (Evidence Code § 1271). Documentation counters denial by providing a factual timeline.

2. Stay Calm and Focused: DARVO thrives on emotional reactions. Responding calmly and sticking to verifiable facts prevents the accuser from being painted as unstable. For example, in a custody dispute, focus on the child's well-being rather than engaging with personal attacks.

3. Seek Third-Party Support: Witnesses, therapists, or domestic violence advocates can provide objective perspectives. In California, court-appointed evaluators (Family Code § 3111) or mediators can help separate fact from manipulation.

4. Work with Experienced Counsel: A skilled family law attorney can recognize DARVO and frame the case to highlight evidence over narrative. For instance, presenting a pattern of behavior through documentation can undermine the “reverse victim” claim.

5. Educate the Court: If DARVO is suspected, attorneys can request that judges or evaluators be informed about the tactic. While California courts don't explicitly reference DARVO, judges are trained to assess credibility and may consider patterns of manipulation when supported by evidence.

Why Addressing DARVO Matters

DARVO can prolong family law disputes, increase emotional distress, and skew outcomes if not addressed. In California, where courts aim for fair and equitable resolutions, allowing DARVO to go unchecked risks unjust outcomes, particularly in cases involving vulnerable parties like children or domestic violence survivors. By recognizing and countering this tactic, clients can protect their rights and ensure their voices are heard.

Conclusion

DARVO is a manipulative tactic that can complicate California family law cases, from divorce to custody battles. By understanding its components—Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender—clients and attorneys can better navigate its challenges. Through careful documentation, composed responses, and strategic legal advocacy, it's possible to counter DARVO and focus on achieving just outcomes. If you're facing a family law dispute and suspect manipulative tactics, consult an experienced California family law attorney to protect your interests and pursue a fair resolution.